Why The Friendzone Doesn’t Exist
“Hearts are not had as a gift but hearts are earned by those who are not entirely beautiful.”
— W.B. Yeats
The ‘friendzone’ is a psychological scenario in which you put yourself in when you behave like a friend with someone you have unrequited romantic feelings for because you don’t have the courage to behave otherwise. Unrequited love, in my opinion, is a load of shite ! This is the real world and not a Disney channel romance, where two best friends end up together after years of keeping their love for each other a secret.
There are a few factors as to how you have put yourself in this situation and simple ways to free yourself from this psychological torture.
Firstly, you’re probably coming across as far too nice and agreeable, which is boring. Instead of expressing your honesty, challenging their opinions and views (when you disagree with them) to spice things up and make conversations more interesting and less mundane.
Secondly, you’re more than likely treating them like a friend by not being flirty and complimentative. Playing it safe out of fear because you’ve put them on a pedestal in your own mind. Treat them as if you would any other person you would fancy by being bold enough to be flirty and complimentative.
Finally, it’s not what you do, it’s how you do it. For example, don’t just go for a casual bite to eat around lunchtime. Make it special. Reserve a table at a late time (8:00/9:00pm) in a fancy/romantic restaurant for dinner and drinks. The later time and romantic restaurant will give them more time to make themselves even more beautiful and will encourage them to dress up for the occasion.
The longer you hold back the more of a chance there is of someone else swooping in and stealing them. Which will leave you hurt, heartbroken, and left wondering what could have been.
If you have bravely attempted all three steps and have told them how you really feel but they still see you as a friend.. Then I’m afraid to say it’s time to let them go. Or else you’ll remain in the friendzone forever and eventually have to listen to them say that they’ve found someone that they really like. Which will leave you even more heartbroken. They don’t deserve you or your time. You’re better off taking the risk rather than wondering what could have been. There is no shame in rejection, it shows true courage to pursue what you desire.